ExR: James Bond AU

“This is a pen!”
“You have to…”
“No. Stop talking.” He held up a hand, and Q glared at him but didn’t make a sound, instead choosing to fold his arms across his chest and raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“You have given me a pen,” he said, matter-of-factly, “Now you are going to explain to me that it isn’t actually a pen, but rather used to inject a truth serum, or that it’s actually a small but high powered gun, or better yet that it transforms into a flying machine, and frankly it is far too early in the morning for you to be messing with my head like this,”

“It’s one in the afternoon,” replied Q with a sigh, snatching the ‘pen’ back from his hand, “Which you would know, if you weren’t still drunk off your ass from last night,“ 

"One in the afternoon is practically still morning in our line of work,” he said with an easy smile, “And I resent that. I took a very sobering swim in the Thames last night. I am in fact freshly drunk for today,”

“So go on, amaze me.” he said, “What is it? What does it do?”

“It’s a bloody pen,” snapped Q, “You write with it. There are a couple release forms you need to sign before I can give you your new car;” he pushed a piece of paper across the table between them, smiling sarcastically “You know, so the next time you crash into a river to sober up. We’re all covered.”


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